Tell me lies, tell me sweet lil Julys

Thank GOD the World Cup is over. I mean really, I could only take so much more preaching from dudes on Boylston street about how rewarding it is to be a soccer fan during this whole thing. I'm sorry, the only sports to me that are worse to watch than soccer are golf and figure skating. The truth is that the only people who are soccer fans are former soccer players and people who studied abroad in some soccer-crazed country. And that makes things even worse because I apologize, but I really can't listen to you analyze boring soccer games AND explain to me how Barcelona changed your life your junior year, alright? People said to me, "But Mego, don't you want to cheer for team USA?" And I said, "Abso-fuckin-lutely! That's why we have TWO seasons of Olympics every 2 years. So I can watch snowboarding and basketball."

I understand what it's like for these poor soccer bastards. I played lacrosse and 85% of Americans don't care about that sport, but I don't pretend like something's wrong with them because they're not into it. There's a reason why most Americans get over soccer when they hit high school, that's all I'm sayin. And seriously, NEVER let those South African horns invade any sporting event again. Listening to those things was actually worse than listening to Lebron talk about all he's done for the city of Cleveland. Lebron? Thanks for ruining the NBA just when it was getting interesting again. In the words of Forrest Gump, That's all I got to say about THAT.

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